A Christmas Drive: Dan and Phil
by lyricsinmotion
Summary: Dan and Phil drive out to meet Phil's family for their first Christmas together. Dan's POV, mostly just fluff, slighttt angst but not really. (Insp. by allurehowell's oct. 30th vid on ig. go watch it its gorgeous)


A/N: Hey kids long time no post. So I have this problem where I spend ridiculous amounts of time watching insta video edits on my phone and coming up with backstories for the aesthetic ones. So I finally broke down and decided to write a little ficlet for one I saw on phanufo's ig which was a repost of allurehowell (who is AMAZING okay). Def go check it out because it's a nice little play along to this, also the song they used was great.

If any of you have ig's or do yt videos and want a lil fic written for it tag me nizzie23! I'll do as many as I can :)

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I really should be driving, now that I think of it; Phil taps the break gently, an anxious tick of his when he's behind the wheel. I glance out the window to calm my nerves. The truth is, if I'd been driving, we'd probably be worse off. I take a deep breath and look back at Phil, taking in the way his tongue darts out as he chuckles to himself at the song humming on the radio, the gentle crinkle at the corners of his eyes- nothing like mine. "Dan, do you hear this? Do you know this song?" he asks me, glancing over with a steady smile.

I can't help but return it, even if my own isn't quite as convincing. I shake my head; honestly, I probably do know the song, but I haven't heard a single note since we left London. My lower lip catches between my teeth as I return my gaze to the window, the familiar creeping sense of anxiety working its way up my spine. Sometimes I wonder if this is my natural state- anxious. If this is how I'm meant to be; God knows I'm anxious enough in this life for it to be my natural state. I think of the passing trees on the country road, of how cold it looks outside, the dew frozen on the gently swaying grass. Life passes in slow motion inside the car, yet outside it's as if someone's just hit fast-forward.

I feel a soft tug at my hand and glance at Phil who's got his eyes cautiously on the road, his hand barely touching the back of mine before returning to his leg. It's almost as if gravity pulls me towards him, my fingers following him, itching for the comfort his touch brings. I hold onto his hand as he switches gears and returns it to his leg. I take a deep breath and look at him, convincing myself this is okay.

The truth is, we've never done this. We've never spent Christmas with one another, not in any of the years we've been friends or lovers or whatever it was we were now. I'd never woken up in his home to his mom's baking, his father's friendly smile, his brother teasing him as they approach the tree to open what I assume are possibly the most thoughtful gifts ever given. I've never gone to sleep in his childhood bed with the chill of December 24th running through my bones, the wonder of Christmas in Phil's eyes. We've skyped every year for Christmas, but this was different.

This was a step.

The time passes a bit too slowly and yet all too fast before night encloses the road, the lights on the dash illuminating the most beautiful face I've ever seen. It occurs to me again that I should be driving- Phil doesn't even have a license- but I'm far too content sitting here with the view to say anything.

If he crashes, at least the sweet release of death will come when I'm happy.

I don't remember at what point I fall asleep, but I'm vaguely conscious of him pulling over, pushing a blanket over my body before returning to the road. It occurs to me somewhere between midnight and sunrise that I don't deserve this at all, but as the anxiety creeps up at the thought, I drifted back to sleep.

When I awoke for real, Phil was laughing loudly, his hand covering his mouth. "Phil!" I dragged out, pulling the blanket over my face before tugging it down enough for him to see me glare at him, not far enough for him to see my smile.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to wake you, love. But look! There are ducks on the road! Ducks!" I sit up straight and peer out the window, chuckling at his discovery. Of fucking course Phil would wake me up over ducks crossing a country road. It strikes me again that I don't quite deserve this, but as we drive the last couple of mile to the house where Phil's family is waiting, he slows and looks over at me. His eyes are lit up, wonder and excitement widening them. The blue there is so clear I feel as though the floor is falling through, and as he tugs my hand into his, his shoulders rising and falling with a deep breath, I let myself believe that I _do_ deserve this, deserve _him_ , that he won't wise up and leave because the love in my eyes is somehow nothing compared to the love in his.

We pull into the drive and I take a deep breath, letting it sink in that all those years I spent wishing I was with him at Christmas time have finally come to an end. I'd never have to spend another Christmas missing him, and as I look over at Phil just as the ignition kills, the last bits of anxiety fall away as he leans over to kiss me and I know that _this_ , this is definitely the happiest I've ever been.

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A/N: so this is my first d&p so any/all feedback is much appreciated! Reblog here: post/154899771907/a-christmas-drive-phan


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